New rule: avoid any film that has ‘outrageous’ or ‘hilarious’ on the poster or description. I want an hour and a half (is that all it was?) or my life back, from everyone who was involved in this film. Seriously. Don’t even watch it. It’s terrible.
And damn it, actors, you are ones I liked! Ones I respected! And it feels like that’s all just been thrown in my face.
Bit of back story; my brother and his girlfriend are down for the weekend, and Dad suggests renting a film to watch from On Demand. We’re looking through these films, and my other brother suggests Movie 43. We ask multiple times if it’s actually good, actually funny, and he reassures us it is. Watches part of it with us, then heads out. My brother, his girlfriend, Dad and me come to the agreement that the oldest brother must have been seriously high when he watched it, to find it in any way funny.
The film is about two teenage friends who try to prank one’s younger brother, by convincing him there’s a ‘secret’ movie out there that they can’t find. The younger brother, being a geek and being very full of himself, is sure he can find it. So he sets out on a quest to find this mysterious ‘Movie 43’, and comes across what the description called ‘hilarious’ short films on the internet.
Let’s start with the first one. It involves Kate Winslet getting set up on a blind date with a rich, handsome man, played by Hugh Jackman. They’re having a good time until they get to the restaurant and he removes his scarf, revealing that he has balls hanging from his neck. It’s absurd and ridiculous, done with no explanation, and even weirder, everyone else in the room seems to be ignoring them.
And the tone for the movie is set. There’s a film about the girl-from-Scary-Movie asking her boyfriend to poop on her (not shit, never shit) which is played on for the whole of this ‘short film’, a joke that feels lifted pretty much from Not Another Teen Movie. A kid whose parents home school him, making sure he gets all the awful, awkward high school experiences, but with his parents playing every teenager, including his first kiss. (Again, most of this joke feels lifted from Not Another Teen Movie) The film goes on like this, switching between the kids looking for the elusive film and discovering its real and looking through more awful not funny films.
Okay, there was one that was actually kind of okay. Chloe Moretz is on a date with the brother of Christopher Mintz-Plasse and gets her first period. Cue two clueless guys freaking out, no idea what’s going on, and freaking the poor girl out, too. It actually wasn’t too bad. But that was like ten minutes of the whole film.
The actors themselves aren’t too bad either, really, but the plots and dialogue massively let them down. The truth or dare story could have been decent, but it, like a lot of the film, was just pushed way too far. As for the ending…there was yet another ‘short film’ tagged onto the end, then another, like whoever made it just didn’t want to let it go.
This is a film that should have been scrapped the moment it was mentioned, a film where I really, really wish the actors had just gone “Oh, hell no.” Unfortunately it does exist, and all I can do is say it’s terrible, awful crap that you should never, ever watch. Under any circumstances.
At least I learnt never to trust my brother’s judgement on movies again.