Oh, God. I’d honestly forgotten I’d watched this one. The main reason I remembered is because I started keeping a list of movies and books, mainly so I would remember to get around and write about them. Well…the fact that this almost disappeared from my mind says a lot, doesn’t it?
Let me see how much I can actually remember of this…
Paranormal detective is hunting for some artifacts. Finds some, is chased down for it, teams up with super hot scientist Tara Reid, and together they, err, stumble across something weird and fight it. Also some stuff about him having grown up in an orphanage and losing his memory at the age of ten. Because he was experimented on, or something. Oh! The people he grew up with end up fighting him, too.
So yeah, there’s all that going on. Honestly? It really, really felt like this film was trying to do too much. There were moments where it could have been halfway good, but then they’d squeeze in some crap and just leave you going “Whha…”
The film jumps from one thing to the other with as little explanation as possible. The action scenes are really dark, which means there’s very little to see, and the ending gives an overall apocalypse feel…people are supposed to have been evacuated, yet they leave cars and such behind. Because when it comes to Alone In The Dark, clearly no one was thinking of the word ‘sense’.
No wonder some people believe it’s one of the worst films ever made. We did not know this when we watched it.
Basically, stay away. Stay far, far away, unless you want to feel like you’ve lost part of your life you can never get back.